Subtlety of Water
by Tatoosh
Summary: The start of a beautiful relationship between two demons old enough to worry about it. Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: ROUTES OF CHANGE:

'So here I am outside your window. Again.' Hiei sighed watching the darkness of Kurama's room, 'Should I go meet you? Perhaps...but...I would rather wait.' He shifted on his branch, settling comfortably, 'Accommodating tree, I'll thank you for it one of these days. Hn, so like you. Kindness left to go unnoticed, yet indispensable. When did that change in you? And why? Youko Kurama was kind only in his efficiency. Paradox, that is what drew me to you, well back after that first encounter. Hn, I am relieved I lost that first battle.' he grinned fiercely drawing in a sharp breath between his teeth in the gathering dark, 'Took awhile to be able to admit that. I've spent so much time refusing to think about things.'

His internal dialog stilled a moment as Hiei tried to trace the roots of change, where life became more than just a drive for strength, skill, survival, control, 'I guess you survive long enough you gain the leisure for introspection. Or lose the ability to avoid it. Thinking in battle is important but primal, clean. How you feel about your choices is unimportant, running through the options, responding to your opponent that is all that matters. Feel.... That's my problem now, I feel things, want things and I don't know if I can have them, or if I could keep them if I got them.' He closed his eyes a long blink before opening them to glare at the window.

'And then there is you, Kurama. Much easier to think about you, try to puzzle you out. Hn, as if...Paradox, the human and the Youko.... no not two forms, not really even if you present yourself that way at times. Same soul new lessons? Did that hunter get you because he was better or were you looking for something you couldn't find in the Makai? Perhaps couldn't learn there, as you were? When we first met you were still learning it, but when we stole the artifacts you were different, you had learned it. Hn, how you pissed me off. We stole all that power, snuck out nearly clean, dreams of world domination dancing in my head, and you walked off with the Mirror of Utter Dark, the Forlorn Hope. Convenient of you to leave out the price of that wish. Watching you walk away so calmly, it was the first I realized you had a different agenda, in truth a more noble agenda, bastard. I saw the whole thing, you willing to trade your life for your mother's happiness, for her life, Yusuke unable to let you make that sacrifice alone. He's right your Mother would have been unhappy to lose you in exchange for her life. But then you weren't really thinking beyond saving her were you? I understand now that the grief was unbearable for you, but at the time I just thought you were weak, and dismissed you as unimportant to my future plans. That was my best mistake.' a low throaty chuckle lost itself in the dark.

'Hn, I was going to kill him, I had him and I could see the defeat, the failure in his eyes, but I didn't love that look like I used to. I was a bit power addled, my plans thwarted, in the grip of that artifact...feeling betrayed... Suddenly, there you were, and I was running you through. Your eyes, shit, those sad understanding green eyes, accepting it all. I was stunned, to this day I thought I saw an apology in your eyes.... why?' a grim smile flashed in the window, 'Though there was a grimace for the pain. I still see your palm run along the blade as you stepped back, the blood, red as your hair, well slowly in your cupped hand, before blinding me. I would have been so easy to kill, not like I didn't deserve to be killed. But you stepped away to let Yusuke to do his job. I changed in that moment, your blood changed me, the rest of the fight was inertia. I was amazed Yusuke didn't finish me off, after what I had planned to do to his Keiko. He's strange that way.'

'I was sullen at the trial, expecting further betrayal from you. Habit and history encouraged me to think the worst. Would you have laughed had you seen the shock in my eyes when you cast the events to make you the most culpable? You weren't looking at me, but you sighed when you heard me stubbornly accept my share of the blame. That damn god has a twisted sense of humor. It still rankles that he assumed I wouldn't just kill Yusuke, or you. I'm too changed now to be that ruthless.... foolish? Change. Hn. I've fought it all the way, I still am. Easier to just follow the groove of habit, even if it did make me suicidally bored. I'm uncomfortable, irritable, on edge. I care and it pisses me off most days. It was easier when I didn't.... but it was cold.' with a sigh he rested his chin on his drawn up knee, 'I realized I was truly lost at the Gates of Betrayal. Yusuke telling me, trusting me to save you all, the fool. I looked back at the three of you holding the gate from crushing you. Yusuke and Kuwabara had desperate hope in their eyes, but all I really remember was resigned emerald green eyes. It was like looking in a mirror, I knew that feeling...I couldn't follow the groove of habit anymore.' A speculative and sad look settled on his features.

'What are you up to Kurama? Really? You are stronger than any realize yet you let the rest of us run in first, you guide Yusuke through strategy, encourage the Fool, let me flex my skills. Always you seem to be watching and waiting, like it is more important to watch us struggle through.... and learn. You bloody jerk.... what gives you the right to act the mentor? Just because you have age on us...' He growled then shook his head, 'But I've seen you afraid, seen the depths of sorrow in your eyes, so perhaps you are still learning, hurting. That makes me less annoyed with you, for now. Sorrow, yes I see your sorrow. I try to forget, it hurts me to see that in your eyes and wonder why... Funny how you were the one I went to when I was injured after being stranded in the Ningenkai. I could have made Yusuke or Kuwabara help me; they would be easy to manipulate. I guess I was testing you, to see if I could trust you.' a sharp exhale of a breath ruffled his bangs, his mind focused on the blackness of the window, still for as long as he could hold his breath.

'That night seems ages ago but it really has only been a month or so. Sex has become a contract negotiation for me, a means to relieve physical tension. It was something demanded from me until I got strong enough to make no mean no, something to trade for food or shelter. And recently it has been an exercise in power and control. If you are good at it you are the one in control, the one with the power. I have always had a fondness for power.

I came to see you with an intention, I was uncomfortable seeking something familiar and in my control. Just an arrangement of physical gratification. So I thought of you. You are a Youko how much sex have you had in the last sixteen years? Teen aged human males have all those hormones. I figured you were ripe for the plucking. Gods, I am such a fool sometimes.' an amused grin flashed across his face.

'You were reading, curled up and comfortable in your bed. The light over your shoulder, a small sun making the gold come out in your hair...Your beauty lances through me more often than I find comfortable... I dropped through your window, slipping off my boots. You smiled indulgently, you knew I had plans to stay awhile, the approach of rain was heavy in the air. How much mindless chatter? What did I growl and grumble about until I stepped up to you as you sat on the corner of your bed?

My hands caught your face, pulling you to me, my mouth falling on yours in a bruising maul, my thumbs forcing your jaw to open to my tongue, my fingers tangling in your hair. Hunger, need to dominate, to control flared in me, I wasn't gentle, there was no skill displayed, I was punishing, sharp, fanged, I tasted your blood, my thumbs continued to press as though trying to break your jaw, trying to wrest something from you. The need to breathe drove me to release your mouth, ease up with my thumbs. My forehead rested against yours, I was smirking, waiting for the ragged sigh that would prove me the master.

Soft, simple breathing.... my mind went blank, blood draining away, my only thought 'Oh' as your lack of response sunk in. I felt like such a fool, suddenly humbled. It was an effort of minutes?, hours? to open my eyes, to look at you. The unrelenting yellow light of the lamp laid it all before me, I'd torn your bottom lip in a couple of places, there were bruises from my thumbs, and dimly I realized I was still pulling your hair. I released it as I made myself look in your eyes, to find none of the reproach that I deserved. Mine was the ragged sigh, I traced the damage with suddenly soft fingers, dabbed gently at the splits in your lip with my scarf, my eyes narrowing in the wince you never gave, "Sorry, I'm sorry."

You smiled, and gave a little shake of your head, your voice was warm, "Nothing to worry about."

I turned to leave, find a rooftop to sleep out the rain. You stopped me, your hand warm on my shoulder, "Hiei. There is no need to leave. Forgiveness asked for and given."

All I could do was nod. I pulled out the spare bedding and curled up to feign sleep under a crushing sense of loss. To be honest I was totally unaware of you the rest of the night. Nothing, it was nothing, that phrase stung. And it stung more to realize I had probably driven away what I was really seeking.' he ran his hands through his hair as he rested his forehead on his knee, hands twining behind his neck.

'I had every intention of not coming back for a few days, if ever. There were things I was going to have to think about and had no intention of doing so if I could help it. But there I was waiting in the damn tree for you to return. It was late afternoon, a few hours after you left school but still a few hours before your mother returned. I heard you open the front door, then counted out the time it would take you to make tea. I had to smirk when you brought the tray in and set it down, two mugs, you knew I was here, and you know I hate tea. Not that you acknowledged me straight off. Not the patient one of so many routines. You had to change your clothes, wash your face, and then talk to your plants. But I've watched it enough to see you relax in those simple actions, release yourself from the constraint of being Shuuichi.

Opening the window in passing, your voice was amused, "You are either shy or asleep. I've made tea. Come in and speak to me of something other than soccer teams and action films." Collecting the tray you settled on the floor next to the window, only a slight pause as I landed with a soft thunk behind you and removed my boots.

With a lift of a brow you offered me a mug, "Drinking?" I leaned forward from my seat in the window to take it. Frowning, I saw the coffee, I could feel your smile even though I didn't look at you, you are such a bastard sometimes.

"So what do you think the ratio of car chases to explosions ought to be?" I couldn't resist and who knew I would catch you off guard. I looked over to see you sputter in your teacup. I got you good, the look on your face, the totally ungraceful action of spraying snorted tea. I gave a sharp bark of laughter.

Wiping your face on your sleeve, laughter in your eyes, "That sounded like it hurt."

I looked away, as I felt a flush of embarrassment, "No worse than scalding your sinuses."

"No, no well worth the loss of my sense of smell to hear such a rare treat." I looked at you sharply but you weren't mocking me, I could see you were delighted. "Two to one, but apparently that lands me in the girls camp." You smiled as you set your cup down.

"Makes sense to me, the chase is always more fun." I sipped my coffee, stalling as I knew I was going to ask you about the night before, and I was reluctant, hoping I'd turn coward and not ask.

"The chase is as important as the capture." There was a sly current to your voice but an unfocused distance on your face. The sorrow returned. I bit my tongue to keep from asking about it.

"Why didn't you respond when I kissed you last night?" I cringed inwardly hoping it didn't sound as wheedling to you as it did to me.

"You weren't kissing." Your voice sounded old.

I drew a deep breath to cover a shocked gasp as those words settled in, I'm bitterly disappointed in myself, "What would you have done if I hadn't stopped?"

"Wasn't an issue." your voice was enigmatic.

I looked at you sidelong, doubt etched across my face, "Are you so sure?"

You caught my gaze, a very old soul looking at me from such a young body, "Yes." I blinked at the trust, and confidence in me that was on your face.

We lapsed into silence. I sat there wandering through my thoughts and confusions, all of them seeming incredibly simple and easy yet they eluded me. I knew I'd missed the point somewhere, and I find that so irritating. I blinked as I saw your hand reaching for my mug. I looked up; you were kneeling with the tray in your hands, the shadows longer in the room. How long had we sat there?

"I'm hungry, come eat with me. I hate to eat alone."

"Wont your Mother be home soon?" you smiled at my confusion.

"No, she is going out with a friend after work. She'll probably be in late. I think romance is blooming in her life." the last said wistfully.

The wistful note made me frown, but I shrugged it away. "Sure. You can cook, ne? Or is it that frozen nonsense?"

"Yes, I'm cooking. Mother took great pains to teach her baby boy the arts of the kitchen, so I would have something to fall back on when my beauty faded." chuckling at some private joke you rose and headed downstairs. I followed shaking my head; I don't understand you sometimes.

Turns out you can cook. Simple meal, rice, vegetables, meat, sake and coffee. Ice cream for me while you washed the dishes. Conversation a travelogue of places in Makai, sticking to the pleasant memories. Reminded me of how little I know you. I know the legends and rumors of the infamous Youko Kurama but how much of that is fiction? How much darker or lighter is the truth? Ch'. Like knowing your past would explain you, hell I know my past and it doesn't explain me. My past.... it would only explain how impossible it is that I'm here, feeling.....anything.' he shifted forward, arms and legs dangling on either side of the branch, laying flat like a jungle cat. His cheek lay along the bark relieved not to be staring at the dark window.

'Hallways. I remember hallways the most from that damn tournament. Your Ki was surging wildly, not a familiar sensation from you. I found you leaning against a wall in some dead end stub. Gracefully nonchalant if it hadn't been for your clenched jaw and fists. Whatever you were feeling was barely contained, a tear slid down your cheek and I looked at the brickwork avoiding the emotion.

"I should be more than used to it by now, ne? Stupid to have forgotten, and dumber still to let the past upset me." You opened your eyes and gave me a wink, amused and pained, "First time I was told being blown to bits would be an act of love."

I leaned against the wall next to you with a snort. At a loss for what to say, compassion or comfort not being in my skill set, "Let me fight him." I glared at the bricks in front of me in self-reproach, it was a stupid thing to say, then I was glaring at your shirt. I looked up confused; I hadn't even felt you move.

Ki stormed through you, green, vibrant, arousing, overwhelming. I blinked, green eyes, searing, hard, as seductive as death drained the fight out of me, leaving me vulnerable, small. I held my breath, "I appreciate the offer, but I'll not deny myself the pleasure of killing him."

Your voice, I felt it in my bones, I was going to humiliate myself by trembling. It was like a caress, a touch that I was craving. You fell ever so slowly forward, a subtle pinning of prey as your hands rested on either side of my head, your eyes shifting intensity, becoming beguiling. Anything, everything, I would have only cried when you stopped. It was almost more than I could bear when you bent down to my ear, the warm sensual tickle of your breath, my own shallow and panting as I struggled for control.

"So desirable," your heat hovered over my neck, "So hard to resist."

Oh I wanted to believe it was true. Desperate to overcome this thrilling and weakening sweep of desire I took refuge in denial, you were merely toying with me, you had to be, "Yes, you are..." my voice was too husky for my comfort, lacking the sarcasm I had hoped for.

"I was talking about you." the glide of your breath as you spoke then the soft fire of your mouth on my neck, focused my whole world into that one spot. I moaned but I still had my pride, my fear. I pushed you away, weakly and just barely. You took the hint. With a groan you fell against the wall across from me.

Both bereft and relieved I sagged against the wall catching my breath, "What's up with your Ki?" I was pleased I sounded gruff and annoyed.

"Best laid plans of mice and men gang oft a glee." at least your sense of humor had returned, but there was distraction in your voice as you worked to control the tempest.

"What?" oh it felt so good to sound so irritated.

"My little trip back to Youko Kurama. I'm suffering a flood." the power settled but the level was abnormally high.

Ah, it all made sense. Why not burn it off with a little recreational sex? My eyes narrowed. Was that all I was good for? Scowling at the tile I fought with sudden disappointment, I felt that sting again.

"You'll set fire to them." I glared at you, hurt. Your fragile facade of amusement crumbled, leaving regret, and sorrow in your damn green eyes. I looked away; I didn't want to see it. Long moments of uncommonly uneasy silence stretched between us. There was another surge in your Ki. You gasped shocked, but you seemed to gain focus as well.

"Let's get the others, flaunt our defiance of death, sneer at the stacked odds, celebrate past victories, throw caution to the wind, and dance for a few hours." Your tone tried for easy going but was marred by the strain of control.

"I don't dance." I crossed my arms reluctant, still not looking at you, but the idea did appeal.

"Liar." humor coiled in your voice, but I glared icily anyway, one of my best and you just giggled.

"Bastard." I spat, "Don't take me so lightly."

"I don't." pushing away from the wall you started down the hall with a pause for me to follow. I fell in step the sensation that I missed something again dogging me.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not you got the others to agree, even Genkai. Techno the ningen called it. Whatever, it had a beat you could dance to, simple and compelling. The crowd was a potentially deadly mix of humans and demons. We weren't exactly welcome, but that wasn't going to stop you, Hn.

We claimed a bit of floor, I felt a kekkei go up. It was subtle, everyone relaxed a bit. Not as foolish or reckless as you try to appear, Fox. You slipped into the music like a fish through water, seamless. All that unconscious grace, making me think of curling smoke, flowing water. I hung back watching prepared to remain on guard as one by one the others followed you into the music. Bodies awkward, stiff, unsure, shy until the surrender came to them. Movement pure, joyous, defiant, free. Legend has it the Kitsune dance to inspire Inari, watching you I believed it. Shedding my reserve, I followed you into the surrender.' He closed his eyes with a pleased sigh the memory of dancing friends playing in his mind.

'I want you Kurama. I wonder if I will have the courage.' Laid out along the branch Hiei dozed.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2: BEND:

"Alright this is going to be painful." Genkai chuckled.

"Hmm, just so long as one of us enjoys it, ne?" I laughed as well before settling back against the floor.

The waiting was the hardest part. I was able to relax into the sting of the blade as Genkai began cutting the ward into my skin. I'm sure I would have had this problem eventually or something of a similar nature, as my Youko Ki recovered from my spirit transfer. An ancient Kitsune's full Ki in a human body, a teenaged body at that, it would be very hard to explain. Bloody tournament. I could have lost everything. In that one moment, forcibly reverted to my demon form.

"Breathe Kurama. Unconscious will be no help." Genkai cut through my reverie, her voice lacked her usual sarcasm.

I blinked affirmation with an amused smile and concentrated on finding a rhythm that would fit with her delicate work. I like Genkai; it is a comfort to be around those who have age, maturity. I like the teens, Yusuke and Kuwabara and the girls, but they are still so young and innocent. So much they have yet to experience, to suffer. There was a sadness in her though, she was tired and willing to leave life after Yusuke had succeeded in passing her final test. I understand that as well, living can wear one out. It was a good exit, but we couldn't let her go, not just yet not when the opportunity to have her back was handed to us...Even Hiei, the recalcitrant bastard, assented readily. Well I have enough Ki to share to ease the strain of old age. Share, now there is a concept that would have been alien to my nature not long ago. Ah Mother, the gifts you have given me. Inari make me worthy of them.

"Okay I'm moving down for the last one." there was an edge to her voice, as she pulled up my shirt to start work just below my navel. I unbuttoned the waistband of my jeans letting it fall open.

I waited for the cutting to resume. Stinging warmth at my throat, almost overriding the new injury, "I appreciate you accepting this arrangement Genkai."

"Hmph. Keep the hormonal teens from going mad." Her hand paused a moment, as she took a deep breath. My hand touched her free hand, a gesture of comfort.

"That as well." I said gently, "It is hard to let go of friends. We were selfish...greedy..."

"Think nothing of it Boy. You kids are my solace." She looked irritated at the sentiments, shaking her head, her voice gruff, "I'm too old for this. You tell anyone I've gone soft and I'll snatch you bald." She squeezed my hand before getting back to work.

"For the sake of my hair, I never saw a thing." I winked at her, steeling myself to the pain. After long tight minutes I felt her sit back the blade having made the last cut. I picked up the salve; it stung but dried the wounds leaving them open, blood free.

"My turn." Genkai placed the blade in my hand as I sat up. She removed her shirt and lay on her stomach exposing her back. Her age shows in the loss of suppleness in the skin, so thin and clear you can trace the veins easily. But the muscles are still firm if stringy, the bones strong from years of fighting, training. There is a vitality as well more pronounced than any normal human's from the long mastery of Ki. My fingers stroked over an old scar, thin, white and nearly invisible. It crosses from the left shoulder to her right hip, "Lover's quarrel." the sorrow was back in her voice. We all have painful secrets. I haven't met anyone without a scar or two.

"I'm starting now." I say setting the tip of the blade on her skin. The anchor ward takes shape in the middle of her back, when I'm finished it's the size of a compact disc. My face relaxes, I realized I was wincing for her the whole time. I blotted her blood from the shallow wound, drying it so it will be ready for the close of the ritual, "Ready for the big finish?" She nodded, her whole form relaxed almost somnolent, as she sat up on her knees.

I started the song, the words that would bind this agreement; she turned to face me, taking the blade to cut her finger, filling my wards with her blood. Finished she hands the blade back and I slit open my index finger letting the blood well a moment before tracing the fine lines of her ward to fill them. The blood glowed with the power of the ritual, I feel its warmth on my body. The song ended and I smile slyly, Inari be proud. The gift is accepted.

"The blood should be allowed to dry." I picked up some gauze and cleaned the cut on my finger, then wrapped it so it will stay clean until it seals. Taking her hand to tend her finger, "I would be honored if you would come to Tea on Sunday. Mother insists I bring my Sensei and my friends over so she can meet them."

"Told her something of your real life finally." She gave a gruff chuckle as I nodded, "When did I take on a new student?"

I chuckled giving her my best 'melt hearts smile', "A bit presumptive of me I know, but your defeat of Suzuki and his poster boy made me realize I was woefully undertrained. Hiei is still trying to figure out how he missed seeing you take off that rubber nose. Though if another student would be a bother."

She gave me an impassive look, not falling for my smile, which makes me grin for real, "Why not it would be nice to meet a woman of sense. I'll give you three months, then you're out on your ear."

"Hai." I nodded and held up her shirt, before moving around behind her with the antiseptic, my fingers nimble and light, "Do you want gauze over this?"

"No." She slipped her shirt on rising, "Clean up and get out of here. And don't come back for two days." She walked out lighting a cigarette.

I smiled and did as bidden; a good student is obedient.

The sun has been down a few hours, the air cool hinting of Fall. I sauntered home, tired but satisfied. The solution to my excessive Ki problem neatly tied up. It is important that the nature of my Ki is concealed. With Genkai's help the energy has a place to go, a use yet is still available should circumstances arise where I need it. In three months if not sooner she'll realize the 'loaned' Ki will be hers to use as she will until the end of her life, not as I suggested that the loan would only be for three months. Three months, it isn't a lie the scars would only remain on my skin three months. I could have done something else, buried the energy in the gardens and parks around my home, a combination of suppression and reduction wards, but I preferred this solution. It is balanced. My secret in wise hands.

"Hey pretty lady how much to party?" The drunk and foolishly horny young men had made a mistake of gender and vocation.

I stopped and blinked a moment, realizing I was too deep in thought and didn't hear the car pull alongside of me, foolish. I turned with a smirk, too tired to play this game, "Sorry boys, no time to party." I opted to play a different game, and with a grin I hit them with a blast of Ki, pure pounding climax. I walk off as the driver slammed on the brakes as he stiffened in the throes of orgasm. They'd all need a shower and a nap when the blast fades, in a few minutes. That was fun. Haven't done that in years, the things you learn from plants. Horny, drunk, young men. Horny, hn, when was the last time I was horny? Ages and ages. One of the benefits of my age, the passions of the body don't rule, well not too often. I'm going to have to reconsider my wardrobe, maybe if I wore a dress people would mistake me for a man. Funny. Mother would be amused, her son the transvestite. Nah the heels would be hell to run in.

Mother, Shiori, miracle of rare device, well all I have left of that miracle of rare device. Father, was part of that miracle. Lost to me without a chance to fight against that loss. I wonder Father would you be proud of me? I hope you would. I didn't deserve such a miracle; I was selfishly trying to avoid dying, having to face my karma. Loving parents, ah Inari your gifts always come with a trick. Humans have such brief lives... I couldn't bear the cold, my life ebbing away with the beating of my heart my approaching death as cold as my life. That realization hurt, I saw the emptiness of my life, how empty I had allowed it to be, I wanted to feel warmth. I hid in my arrogance, lied to myself that I refused to die in such an ignoble fashion, and flung myself at the opportunity to cheat defeat, to recover and resume my glorious Youko form. The lies we tell ourselves to have the courage to reach for our dreams.

I walked on, mind calm, avoiding the direction my thoughts bend with increasing frequency as of late. With a sigh I gave in, Hiei.

Ch', the day he appeared in my life. My body was still young, nine, didn't stop him trying to kill me though. I was very lucky he was already tired and injured. I'd have killed him if I hadn't seen the sorrow in his eyes as he slid into unconsciousness. I knew that look; I couldn't kill him, we were kindred souls. Besides the shock on his face when he woke up in the shelter I created in the park, brief though it was, was priceless. I left him to recover, planning on never seeing him again. Despite truly wanting to see him again. Too dangerous for Mother and myself to have a youkai know where I was living. Inari, I was angry when he dropped in front of me in my backgarden. I tried to skewer him to the fence with tree branches, but he managed to step out of the way.

"So the great Youko Kurama hides in the Ningenkai?" He was cold, dispassionate in tone and stance but there was a glint in his eye, I could see there was a fascination as he compared the legend with the pissed off nine year old body. If it had been me I would have laughed.

"Live not hide." My tone was as cold as I could make it. I bet I squeaked too young to be commanding as I tried to growl, "Stay out of my territory."

"Hn. I'll let you live until you're old enough to defend your claim. We'll settle it then." The glint remained but his voice was derisive.

"Fine." I was still annoyed, sorry now I hadn't just followed the practical solution, "What's your name tenant?"

A flicker of amusement crossed his face, so fast I almost doubted it, "Hiei. Kurama." Then he was gone.

I didn't see him again for years, I felt his Ki around in the city from time to time, never near the house again though. I really didn't think much of it; I was busy with Mother, and my life as Shuuichi. Actually, I was busy coming to terms with not wanting to go back to being Youko Kurama. Busy becoming Kurama/Shuuichi. I'd found the warmth my life had lacked, as much as I don't deserve it I couldn't just abandon it. As it was I almost lost it. Mother developed an illness, I was fifteen when it finally defeated all my skill and became terminal.

Hiei popped back up, some highly ridiculous plan for dominating Ningenkai by stealing some Reikai artifacts. I didn't really care, I was going to say fuck off, but he mentioned the Forlorn Hope. My grief frozen memory melted, I saw light at the end of the tunnel. I agreed, not really giving a damn about all his plans. I could save her, and the price wasn't nearly enough to cover what I owed. I never realized how calm, competent one could appear in the midst of utter despair, on the brink of madness. Inari, I am humbled by your divine joke. Mother was healed, and the artifact spared my life. It was the first unselfish act I had ever committed; I still don't understand why I was rewarded.

But...Hiei. I couldn't leave him in the grip of that artifact. I was... saving him... for me. Kindred spirit, I couldn't just walk away...He was angry when he was sentenced to indefinite parole with the Reikai Tantei. I couldn't blame him; no one likes to be defeated by a lucky shot. Shortly thereafter I apologized for taking advantage of his plans. For my betrayal. For abandoning him to the artifact's control, I had known more about them than I let on when he had come to me about it. I got his trademark snort, but he started coming to me for shelter when the weather was bad, or he was injured, or as of late just for companionship. So he must have forgiven me. Not that I'm complaining, he is comfortable to be around. Despite his surly silence and nearly constant irritation.

When did wanting Hiei start? Aargh. I don't know, perhaps I've always wanted him. Perhaps he's just the one who is close, mature enough to tempt me now. That is probably the truth of it. I'm lonely and he is available. I'm such a selfish bastard. I have a miserable history with sex. I became frozen not finding much to desire. That is until now, since a certain fire demon came into my life. The myth of Kurama the Seducer was largely built on the Ki trick, and wishful thinking. Maybe...maybe I could really care about him...

In my second childhood I grew up loved, protected. I've learned to love, but I will never be innocent. Always overshadowed by my past. The gifts of unconditional love I've gained from Mother and Father I hold dear. I am too aware of the fragility of those gifts and too afraid to lose them again. If I get hurt will I become the frozen creature I was before? What if I'm truly fickle and faithless? I could hurt him too... I'm such a fool; it should be enough that we are friends.

But I can't make myself stop wanting him. I need the mad courage of ignorance. Ah Inari...


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3: Merge:

The spill of yellow light woke the dozing fire demon. Blinking as he rose from his supine position his body undulated in a sinuous stretch, 'It's about time.' Frowning he noted the window open but the room still empty. Dropping lightly inside he slipped off his boots, leaving his cloak and blade with them by the window. A casual flick of the wrist shut off the light as he walked into the hall, "Kurama?"

"Hmm?" the drowsy reply came from the living room. Kurama sprawled bonelessly on the end of the couch. Not long from the shower his damp red hair lay in coils along his shoulders, the soft formless clothing draped loosely on his body, the unbuttoned shirt allowing glimpses of the fading pink scars of healed damage from the last battles of the Dark tournament, long legs draped across the coffee table. A foot tapping occasionally with the tempo of the music playing softly, "There's food in the kitchen if you're hungry, it's just Take Out but it's fresh."

"Hn." Hiei wandered in from the kitchen carton in hand and a bottle of beer tucked in his belt, "You're back late. Complications?"

With tired grace Kurama sipped from a bottle, "Yeah, I'll have three months to sort it out." he paused with a sigh then with an indignant and slightly petulant twist in his voice, "I resent entirely the derailing of my carefully laid plans by that clown's damn box."

"Would you have been able to defeat Karasu if it hadn't happened?" humor colored Hiei's voice or perhaps it was the noodles.

Glaring half heartedly Kurama chuckled, "Probably not as quickly, and I would have lost more skin." his eyes closed, a soft frown lingering for a few moments while he drifted in the music.

"Why have you only bought yourself three months? Wards can be indefinite." Hiei flexed his warded hand for emphasis.

"Even warded for suppression my Ki was causing trouble, there were still...surges. Made Kuwabara blush yesterday." Kurama replied suppressed laughter making his voice deeper.

Hiei felt a rush of warmth cross his shoulders and neck as the memory of the intense sexual energy in those surges crossed his mind, glad that Kurama's eyes were still closed, "Hn, yes that could be troubling. What solution have you come up with?"

"Genkai and I came up with a different type of ward, and a more efficient placement." sleepily Kurama laid his head on the back of the couch, exposing the fine red lines of an intricately carved ward just above the notch at the base of his neck.

The carton made a soft thunk on the table as Hiei dropped it, untucking the bottle from his belt before settling in a chair across from his sprawled friend. Sipping casually from the beer his hooded eyes raked over Kurama while the music filled the comfortable silence. Amused Hiei watched the bottle in his friend's hand as Kurama slipped into a doze, leaving his friend to nap until the half-full bottle began to steadily tip. Nudging Kurama's foot with his own he woke him, "Careful."

"Hmph...thanks." Setting the bottle on the end table Kurama squirmed deeper into the embrace of the couch, "I was scared, before I returned to my human form. In that moment I feared that all I had come to consider as me, all I had gained and learned was erased."

"Why tell me this?" Hiei's voice curious but distant at the unexpected revelation, remembering the fierce pride he felt when his friend's Youko form was revealed.

Kurama's voice warm and perhaps slightly apologetic, "Because you would understand."

"Hn." A small smile crossed Hiei's face pleased.

"That is quickly becoming a favorite sound of mine." Kurama chuckled, stretching a bit to change the angle of his legs.

"Why?" wary Hiei's eyes narrowed as he watched his friend.

"You say quite a lot with it, but it's only heard if the listener pays attention." Kurama's eyes frank as they caught Hiei's, "I hear that Hn, and somehow I know things are right with the world."

Hiei's eyes widened startled by the pleasure and shyness Kurama's words evoked in him. Surprised by how well Kurama understood him, "Hn."

Kurama gave Hiei a lopsided grin at his reply, "Before I forget I want to invite you to stay for tea tomorrow. Mother comes home in the evening. As a welcome home for us all she asked that I invite my friends over. The others have all agreed, well except for Koenma. She plans to do the whole high English tea, small sandwiches, French pastries, etc. I think she is missing her college days."

"Sure I'll be there, at least for as long as I can withstand the Fool. I enjoy finger sandwiches and French pastries." Hiei answered with a chuckle.

"I appreciate it. Hmm, you sound like quite the gourmet. Are you globe trotting when you disappear for weeks at a time?" with a slightly teasing note to the interest Kurama watched Hiei as he answered.

"Just because I appear child sized doesn't mean I'm only as old as Yuusuke and Kuwabara. I've been slipping in and out of the Ningenkai for decades, if not longer. Yes, sometimes." Hiei laughed at Kurama's look of disbelief.

"I have never considered you child sized, petite would be a word I would use, or diminutive, or if I really wanted to irk you I would just say kawaii." Kurama teased.

"Use kawaii in public and die." Hiei growled, as Kurama laughed

They lapse into silence again, listening to the random mix of music from the CD player. Eyes drifting shut, as he relaxed Hiei's mind wandered to half formed thoughts of warm bodies shared, the caress of long, red hair, the scent of roses, expressive emerald green eyes, supple grace.

"Did you know I have a fantasy about you?" Kurama's voice low, suggestive, mischievous.

"What?" Hiei drawled huskily stirred from his decidedly sexual train of thought. Eyes still closed, tension tightened his shoulders as he felt the Kitsune toying with him.

Kurama's voice still husky and low, "Yes, a fantasy. I long to hear you giggle. With your deep voice I bet you have a seductive giggle."

"Baka, I don't giggle, I rarely laugh." Hiei's tension became a mix of trepidation and sudden desire, his eyes opening just enough to study the fox.

"That's why it is a fantasy," said in a patronizing tone, then continued with a seductive purr, "In my fantasy, I tickle you until you giggle. I can feel my fingers whisper over your skin, along your neck, over your chest...."

"Stop." Hiei cut him off, a flush staining his cheeks, as he turned away, his voice thick, "Don't tease Kurama."

Kurama sat up, embarrassment in his voice, "I'm sorry, Hiei. I was just...sort of teasing.... I didn't know how else to break the ice. We've had a few false starts..."

Hiei continued to glare at the wall, trying to overcome his fears, to take the risk, "Yes, we have. I just don't want to be toyed with."

Kurama sighed head bowed to watch his toes curl in the carpet, "I don't want to toy. Inari knows how much... I want you. I can't think much past desire."

"That's not like you, not being able to think." Hiei moved from his chair decision made, to stroke red hair, "I never had a friend before, you would think I could be satisfied with that." Wonder softening his voice.

Kurama's bowed head jerked with the words but leaned into the stroking of Hiei's hand, "Ahh...mnn..."

Fingers combing through the long still damp tresses, Hiei smiled at the purr of pleasure. Hands slowly working their way below Kurama's chin to tilt upwards until he can see his face, his eyes. The corner of Hiei's mouth pulled into a half smile as he traced the fine curve of Kurama's mouth, oddly distant desire in his ruby eyes. Bending he claimed Kurama's mouth a hungry, hard, caress of his lips, gliding, suckling, tugging, hands slid into Kurama's hair, firm fingers massaging his scalp sending a shiver down his spine.

Wrapping his arms around Hiei's waist Kurama drew him between his knees, hands tracing warm circles on the small of his back, his mouth parting, teasing softly under Hiei's.

Kurama's teasing response pulled a guttural sound from deep in Hiei's throat as he pushed Kurama back into the couch to straddle his hips, tongue tracing his upper lip before sliding into the warm mouth. Synchronized pauses for quick breaths prolonging, sweetening the intimate dance of tongues. Shying away from his escalating need Hiei broke from the kiss to explore Kurama's throat, tongue lapping, teeth nipping, as he inhaled the Kitsune's scent. Drawn by the hint of blood, Hiei's hands grabbed the back of Kurama's head tilting it further to expose the barely sealed wound, his mouth covered the half dollar sized mark sucking insistently to pull blood to the surface, tongue gliding gently over the sensitized flesh catching the desired prize with a moan. Pleasure grinding his hips against Kurama's, slackening his hold on the back of Kurama's head.

Delicate torture, warm supple tongue ever so slowly tracing, pressing, fervent mouth suckling, a pleasing, soothing, pain over raw nerves. Sensation making Kurama languorous, a slow pulse of desire spread through him, his own hands pressed, tangled in hair keeping the marvelous tormentor close, refusing to allow any possibility of escape. Hanging in the long moment surrendered to the pleasure, need and delight sighed out with shortening breaths, as the pulse became stronger. Hiei's tender lapping calling forth a flare of possessiveness. Kurama arched Hiei back forcefully hands pulling hair, the graceful neck not resisting as he groaned for the loss of contact with the painfully intimate taste of his desire as Kurama bent into him. Warm mouth coming to rest over his pulse, nipping its way to the tendon before biting down, hard and crushing stopping just short of breaking the skin.

Hiei's hiss of pain drew out into a supplicating purr, accepting the vulnerability of being arched by Kurama, the dominance of the bite, a signal of submission.

The sound of supplication twisted in Kurama, restraint felt in the tension of his jaw. Gusts of warmth fanned Hiei's neck, as slowly, through steadying breaths the possessive bite became a coaxing caress of lips and tongue. Soothing purrs adding pleasant vibrations to the bruised flesh, hands shifted, one slipping to the middle of Hiei's back the other to cup the back of his head bringing him up out of the arched posture.

Responding to the delightfully coaxing mouth, Hiei's purr became a deep rumble of pleasure. His hands slid into Kurama's open shirt over shoulders, down the chest, brushed lightly over nipples that crinkled and tightened under warm thumbs. Kurama's delighted moan against his neck caused his hands to linger over them, teasing the flesh with pinches and rolls. With a slow circling of his hips Hiei resumed the arousing friction between their groins.

Kurama's mouth teased and nipped at Hiei's lower lip, taunting him with the promise of a kiss. Stealthy hands slid under Hiei's shirt tracing over lean muscle, delighting in the soft, smooth glide of warm skin. With wicked intent Kurama's touch became lighter, teasing, tickling. A grin broke Kurama from his taunting of Hiei's lip as he twitched and squirmed trying to escape from the tickling.

Bringing his hands from their exploration of Kurama's chest to halt the tickling hands Hiei slipped from Kurama's lap. Standing between Kurama's knees panting, amusement as well as desire in his ruby gaze, "Come on Fox." Hiei stepped back pulling Kurama to his feet.

Pausing briefly to shut off the stereo and turn out the light Kurama and Hiei headed upstairs.

Pulling Hiei to him Kurama ran his hands over him in a possessive embrace. Inhaling deeply the scent of warm sandalwood that rose from the fire demon as he nuzzled Hiei's neck, "Hnmm, sleepy?" Busy hands lifted Hiei's shirt up and over his head.

"Hn...tease." Hiei returned the embrace equally possessive. His hands wandered up the Fox's back, then slid under the waistband of the loose pants to send them cascading down Kurama's thighs. Hands traced the lean lines of Kurama's lithe form to push the opened shirt off his shoulders.

A shiver coursed through Kurama as his hands deftly unbuckled Hiei's pants sending the garment to join his on the floor. Sinking to his knees with a sigh he drug his mouth along Hiei's body catching a quick taste of salty skin before nuzzling into his groin, a dry caress of lips over a semi erect penis. Heat flared in the body under his mouth, with a groan Kurama engulfed the quickening member in his mouth, the bewitching taste of Hiei brought thoughts of wind and campfires, hands clasped hips to keep his prize steady. Tantalizingly slow Kurama slid down, tongue dancing as lips applied subtle pressure. The retreat accompanied by the occasional grazing of teeth. Hiei groaned as Kurama drew his warm mouth away, clever hands covering the loss with massaging warmth.

Hiei sighed as Kurama's mouth left his body, his eyes opening to bring himself back from the sea of sensation he was drifting in. Rapidly he found himself laying flat on Kurama's bed, being delightfully teased under a leisurely exploration. The ache in his loins brought a frown to his face as warm hands left off their caresses to torment other parts of him. A warm tongue glided along his ear as Kurama's warmth hovered over him, a husky huff in his ear, "So beautiful..."

Rolling unexpectedly Hiei straddled Kurama's waist chuckling at the look of surprise, before kissing the Kitsune. A teasing glide across lips before Hiei traveled down soft white skin, tracing each fading scar reverently. Memorizing the body below Hiei worked his way ever downward following his trailblazing hands until he reached Kurama's prominent erection. Hands whispered over the softest of the body's skin memorizing the whorls and ridges, a crooked grin flashed over his face at the tangle of red curls, amazed that the modest Kitsune allowed himself to be so exposed. Wrapping his lips around the tip Hiei circled it with his tongue several times, then with nibbles and suctioning kisses traveled along the sides to the base and back up to the tip circling again. With deliberate slowness to draw out the torment Hiei slid down Kurama's shaft tongue teasing the vein along the underneath with slow bobbing strokes until he made his way to the nest of curls. Slipping back with increased suction his hands glided along Kurama's thighs in light circles.

Kurama squirmed under Hiei's talented mouth, body arching and lifting to increase the delicious contact, sighs and purrs speaking his pleasure. His hands brushed gently through the dense up swept hair, over shoulders, along Hiei's arms. Until the intense, nearly overwhelming sensation of Hiei's mouth centered his world around his cock, leaving his hands to clutch the blankets, "Aaaah Inari, Hiei..." the passionate moan pulled from Kurama warning Hiei of how close he was to the point of no return.

Pulling away reluctantly an evil smirk flashed across his face, Hiei moved up to whisper in Kurama's ear, "How far are we going tonight?"

Kurama groaned at the cessation of his delightful torture. Panting he pulled himself under control, shuddering as Hiei whispered in his ear. A deep throaty purr was the only warning as Kurama flipped him on his back, pinning Hiei's hands above his head. Hiei's growling turned to a purr as Kurama teasingly ground their arousals together. Kurama kissed Hiei deeply, the warm, slippery friction making each moan. Pulling back, soft panting fanning over Hiei's mouth, "How far do you want to go?" asked with a forceful roll of hips as Kurama's hands slid down Hiei's arms to rest on the bed.

"Ahnn...Fox you have any oil?" voice husky and slow Hiei wrapped his thighs around Kurama's waist adding an interesting new variation to the friction Kurama started.

Kurama searched Hiei's face with a fox like tilt of his head, "Hai..I..."

Cutting Kurama off with the brush of his thumb along his lips, "No one I would rather be under than you." Hiei pulled Kurama to him invading his mouth before he could reply making the lost words no more than a rumbling. A warm tongue sweeping the depths of Kurama's mouth.

Lifting away with a languid suckling of Hiei's invading tongue Kurama reached under the futon platform for the box of healing supplies he kept there. Breaking contact briefly with Hiei, Kurama grabbed the bottle of oil and pushed the box back under the bed. With a smirk Kurama fell on Hiei's mouth the gentle nipping of teeth and soothing glide of his tongue leaving already swollen lips tingling. "Stay still," Kurama commanded as he started wandering down Hiei's flushed and sensitive skin, lips and tongue paying homage to Hiei's form.

Hiei squirmed suddenly as a cool trickle of oil pooled in his bellybutton, "Aaahh...Fox..."

Gentle fingers skirted the edge of the pool drawing the cooler oil over Hiei's heated chest causing the skin to tighten and pebble with goose flesh only to be soothed and warmed by firm strokes from strong hands. The massage soothing as the hands worked over Hiei, the driving need calmed. A contented purr making Kurama smile. Hiei lolled his attention focused wholly on the feeling of Kurama's hands as they rubbed over his chest, his sides, his neck. Finally dipping back into the oil before working their way over first one hip then the other. The now warmed oil fragrant adding the scent of almonds in the air as it was worked into the smooth hairless skin loosening muscles.

Desire coiled in Hiei's belly as slick hands dipped into the oil again then slid over his erection, the oil dulling the intensity of the sensations helping to retard his climax. A whisper of breath over the slickened head the only warning before Kurama's mouth engulfed Hiei's straining erection, as oil slicked hands fondled testicles. The delightful warmth of a bobbing mouth distracted Hiei from the questing fingers until the intrusion of a slender digit through the ring of muscle caught his attention. The finger moving in ever widening circles stretching the muscle with a sweet burning ache. The increase of sensation had Hiei writhing, tangling the sheets, all motion kept above the waist as he fought the urge to thrust his hips. Kurama continued his slow and steady onslaught, hands and mouth wringing moans and half-embarrassed pleas from Hiei as the coming climax built.

Hiei blinked as he realized he was no longer being touched. The loss of contact making him gasp in confused panic, "Fox?"

"Ssssh...I'm here." Kurama brushed a kiss across Hiei's lips. Relief flooded the fire demon as he felt Kurama settle between his thighs rolling his hips against Hiei's. His hands coaxed Hiei's thighs up around his waist as he leaned down to nuzzle Hiei's neck before sliding slowly into him. Hiei drew in a sharp breath as his body was slowly penetrated by Kurama's slick shaft. The stretching of his body a warm pleasant itch as the in drawn breath escaped as a breathy moan.

Sheathed deeply in the intense heat of Hiei's body Kurama sighed against the fire demon's neck the bliss of being in this position causing him to tremble, "Hiei..." His voice broken and raspy with desire the question he was going to ask unable to be spoken. Hiei slowly rolled his head along Kurama's as his hands clasped the Fox's back and his hips pushed against Kurama's. Accepting the answer Kurama started the steadily escalating rhythm of thrust and retreat.

Hiei panted under the Fox as the overwhelming friction built between them. The approaching climax roiling through him in increasing shudders. Desire wound tighter and tighter until with a bellow that might have been Kurama's name his body spilled its seed in a long pulsing explosion. The tightening of his body around Kurama's sent the Fox over the edge. With a throaty growl his body released deep within the fire demon. The moment of release a nearly painful tension that flowed delightfully away leaving the two of them panting and gasping against each other.

"AHmmm..." Kurama's arms slipped around Hiei pulling him close as he rolled to his back, "I haven't felt this in years." Lazily a hand caressed up Hiei's back to thread through the dense soft spikes of Hiei's hair.

"Hnnn..." Hiei rubbed his cheek against Kurama's chest, "Me either." His head rested on Kurama as he listened to the slowing of the Fox's heartbeat back to normal, his own pulse settling down. Kurama purred as he felt a warm tongue glide along his collarbone slowly working its way up to his ear stilling his hand in Hiei's hair.

"Fox, I'm sticky. Come shower with me." Hiei continued to nuzzle and kiss along Kurama's throat to entice the Fox into following him before climbing off the bed. He paused in the doorway to toss a wink over his shoulder at the rising Fox before stepping into the bathroom.


End file.
